How to Protect Your Energy

You need boundaries. . . . Even in our material creation, . . . boundaries mark the most beautiful of places, between the ocean and the shore, between the mountains and the plains, where the canyon meets the river. —Wm. Paul Young, Canadian author

If you have read Radical Radiance or have been following me via this blog or my podcast tour, you know that I believe that everything is energy.

And you know my philosophy: how we treat our skin is how we learn to treat our souls. Both need nourishment, care, love… and barriers and boundaries.

For example, our skin barrier maintains balance by keeping irritants out and moisture in, which is key for dewy and radiant skin.

We need to learn how to “listen to our skin”: if there’s dehydration, irritations, or inflammation, it means that we may not be properly protecting the skin barrier.

It’s important to say “no” to common irritants such as over-exfoliating, harsh scrubs, and internal factors like stress, and to say “yes” to things that protect the skin like moisturizers, toners, and SPF.

The Hydration Station

You can repair the skin’s protective barrier through a toning mist that delivers hydration and nutrients.

Seen here with Savor Beauty Toning Mist.

Similar to our skin, our souls need to maintain balance in order to stay radiant.

Our souls emit an energy that is like an aura or “vibe” and it’s important to protect this energy by keeping irritations out and nourishment in.

Nothing dissipates precious energy more than going against our authentic desires, vision, or needs. In order to create boundaries, we learn to listen to our inner voice that says not to sacrifice our needs in order to please another.

It also is an invisible force that allows you to own what is yours and let go of what isn’t.

This is different from selfishness and doesn’t mean we disregard what others want, minimize how they feel, or abandon responsibilities.

It simply means that if mutual desires are not in harmony for the greater good, we say “no” to that which does not serve us in order to say “yes” to that which does.

Sometimes creating boundaries can feel defensive like putting up walls, but I like to think of it as protecting our energy by understanding our soul’s needs and desires, and then rising to those standards.

Here are some personal examples of how I recently clarified healthy boundaries:

• One of the freelancers we had hired was consistently not meeting deadlines. In the past, I might have accepted this substandard and tried to coach him, but it was not serving the team and was lowering morale. We parted ways because work ethic, follow-through, and professionalism are non-negotiables for us.

• A friend asked me if she can bring her best friend to one of my party gatherings. Her friend often shows up high and inebriated; this would have been acceptable for me in the past, but now my priority is depth of connection and flow of fun. Even though it was hard to say no, I knew that if she attended, I would spend energy worrying about if she was okay versus focusing on having fun.

• A podcast host recently asked for 70+ Savor Beauty products after booking me on her show. We told her that we could send the gift package we send to all hosts, which includes three products, to which she conveyed an angry message. In the past, I may have ignored the red flags; this time, I turned down the opportunity as my desire is to co-mingle with energies of gratitude and graciousness.

We often choose approval over authenticity, but when we strengthen our relationship with our inner being, AKA our soul, we not only make better choices for ourselves, we make the right ones.

Just like we need to listen to our skin, we also need to take the time to listen to our souls. It is then that we are able to create healthy boundaries in order to protect our energy field to keep “irritants” out and nourishment in. 

If you are having a hard time protecting your energy, the following ritual will help you clarify and articulate a kind boundary.

RITUAL: Healthy Boundaries
To gain clarity around boundaries
Time: 5–10 minutes
Ingredients: Pen and paper or a digital device
Optional Upgrades: Soothing music, crystals, honey face mask, warm moist towel
Notes: I like to do this ritual with a honey face mask to create a purifying environment and soothing space for clarity. You can use a manuka-honey face mask or easily make your own from items in your kitchen pantry. I love manuka honey for the detoxifying and healing enzymes that draw impurities from the skin. Mix two teaspoons of organic honey with one teaspoon oil (I prefer safflower oil, used by Korean women as far back as AD 918, for a lightweight glossy sheen), and add one drop of lavender essential oil.

1. Mask. Apply the soothing honey mask onto cleansed, moist skin in upward motions to purify and clarify the skin. At any point during this ritual, if your skin begins to tingle, you can gently remove the mask with a warm moist towel and apply a hydrating cream to provide a finishing nourishing treatment.

2. Breathe. Breathe in and out while drawing your awareness to your shoulders, neck, and jaw. Allow each breath to release any tension until you feel focused, relaxed, and clear.

3. Ask. Reflect on the following questions as they relate to your situation: a. What is the situation at hand? b. Are my needs, goals, and desires being honored? c. If not, why am I not honoring them?

4. Meditate. You can meditate to clear the mind, or you can also do the Higher Self meditation (from week 3) to access higher levels of clarity.

5. Write. If you want to say no to someone, craft a response that you feel good about.
Here are some gracious statements:
• I’m honored but I can’t.
• I wish there were two of me!
• I want to give this my all, and I just can’t right now.
• My plate is full right now.
• No, thank you, but it sounds lovely, so perhaps next time.
• I’m not taking on anything else right now.

6. Affirm. Create an affirmation around boundaries, such as, “By saying no I’m saying yes to what’s important to me.” Make sure to add this to your affirmations deck.

If you want to renew and repair your relationship with your inner being, read Radical Radiance: 12 Weeks of Self-Love Rituals where I walk you through 52 rituals to help you fall in love with your soul, the most important relationship you will ever have.