5 Things I Would Tell My 20-Year-Old Self

Having just celebrated another orbit around the sun, I want to share with you the five pieces of advice that I wish I had known when I was 20 years old.

Advice #1: Gratitude will be your healing balm during happy and hard times.

I’m always surprised at how much better I feel during times of stress or anxiety if I simply list five things I am grateful for. It’s not surprising that studies show that people who practice gratitude are happier, more optimistic, and experience less stress and depression.

I play a gratitude game when I tuck my daughter into bed at night. We say three things that we’re grateful for: one about each other, one about ourselves, and one about anything else.

For a while, she’d say, “I’m thankful for Zoe” (our dog), and end there. So I came up with a formula to help her feel deeper appreciation: what I love + why I love it = how it makes me feel.

Her gratitude statements became more heartfelt: “I love mama because she is caring. She made s’mores with me tonight, and I felt special.”

Try this little gratitude formula and see how it shifts your mood—it is 100% free and for me, it’s the youth elixir for feeling lighter!

Advice #2: Wash your face every night.

Washing your face at night may seem like a small thing, but it is a symbol of slowing down and taking care of yourself. Taking care of your skin will help you feel more confident and radiant, and going to bed feeling clean and refreshed will help you sleep better.

Research has shown that maintaining a good skincare routine can lead to better self-esteem and an improved mood. When you take care of your skin, you feel better about yourself and are more confident.

I love using a double-cleansing technique, a thorough Korean ritual, to achieve radiant, clear skin. The alluring aromas, sense of touch, and sound of water help me go to bed feeling nourished and replenished. I use the Savor Beauty Coconut Jasmine Pre-Cleanse Oil followed by the Jasmine Milk Cleanser.

I enjoy seeing my thirteen-year-old daughter use the double cleanse technique before going to bed every single night as her evening ritual to symbolize slowing down and savoring.

Advice #3: Remember that self-love is essential for your well-being.

Nourish to flourish. Self-love is not vain; it’s a love that overflows from within—an abundant radiant light source that enriches the lives of others, too.

This means taking the time to connect with your beauty, brilliance, and balance. Practice sustainable self-care rituals daily, whether it's meditating, practicing financial wellness by saving a portion of your savings, or dancing so you experience pure pleasure.

By prioritizing yourself, you will have more energy and be better equipped to handle life's challenges, which I believe is key to sustainable success.

Advice #4: Plan Your Day for Centeredness and Calm

Planning your day can help you feel more centered and calm. When you know what you need to do and when you need to do it, you can reduce stress and anxiety and feel more in control of your life.

One tool that can help you plan your day is the Savor Beauty Planner, which Martha Stewart magazine says “feels more like a life coach than a daily calendar. Its pointed questions and prompts help you to set goals and intentions to plan out the next 90 days."

This planner allows you to prioritize your tasks, set goals, and reflect on your progress. By using this planner, you can stay focused and organized, and make time for the things that matter most to you.

Carve out time each morning to review your tasks and schedule for the day, and use the planner to keep track of your progress throughout the day.

By planning your day, you will feel more grounded and be better equipped to handle whatever comes your way.

Advice #5: Choose authenticity over approval.

Research has shown that living an authentic life, where you stay true to your values and beliefs, leads to greater happiness and well-being. When you sacrifice your values or beliefs for the approval of others, you can easily experience stress, anxiety, and burnout.

I spent the first decades of my life pleasing others. I became a concert pianist to make my dad happy. I ran an entrepreneur organization with hundreds of events to make our members happy. I worked morning to night to make my employees happy. Eventually, my body and spirit gave in.

By learning how to listen to my intuition and nourish myself, I now have an abundant radiant light source that enriches the lives of others, too.

Here’s to the beauty of hindsight, wisdom, and another orbit around the radiant sun! xx