How My Dad's Advice Fueled the Kim Girls’ Success as Asian-American Women
Growing up in Iowa as a Korean-American, I faced daily microaggressions and stereotypes. My dad's broken English was often mocked, and my sisters and I were made fun of for our eye shape.
One day, my dad gave me advice that has stuck with me to this day. Through my story, you will see how my middle sister and I each took different parts of his advice to express ourselves and address injustice differently.
In kindergarten, a classmate called me racial slurs and pinched me. I came home crying, and my dad got angry. He told me to "Pinch her back, Angie. If she does it again, tell the teacher right away. And then you become #1 in the class no matter what. Success is your best revenge."
My dad didn't just say those words; he lived them. As a math professor, he refused to accept discrimination and racism, even when it was directed at him.
One day, he announced, "One of my students made fun of my accent and imitated me in front of the class. I kicked him out of the class, but from now on, we speak only English, and I will pay you five cents every time you correct my English."
While I took my dad's advice to heart, I never quite “pinched back” and felt more comfortable excelling at the piano and eventually became a concert pianist.
Emily (middle sister), Mom, Joyce (youngest sister), me
My middle sister, however, embodied the "pincher"; one day, she heard that my younger sister had been bullied by a boy on our street. She pushed him up against a locker and said, "If you ever make fun of my little sister again, I will punch you in the balls so hard. Do you understand?" He never made fun of her again.
The Kim girls, true to our early inclinations, dealt with the injustices in different ways through our work. My middle sister became a lawyer who fiercely protected education rights and founded her inner-city NYC schools for underserved communities. Meanwhile, I created Savor Beauty—founded, led, and made in New York by women—a brand committed to celebrating our skin and bridging my Korean heritage with my American upbringing.
As we celebrate #AAPI (Asian/Pacific American Heritage) month, I am reminded of the importance of honoring our unique expressions and diverse backgrounds. My dad's advice to “pinch back” taught me to use my voice through my life’s work in the face of microaggressions and stereotypes.
Through our different paths - one a lawyer fighting for education rights, the other a founder of a skincare brand celebrating Korean heritage - my sisters and I prove that there is no one way to express our identities.
As Asian women, we are often told to be quiet, to blend in, to not make waves. But it's time to break that mold by shattering stereotypes, being unapologetically ourselves, and inspiring the next generation of Asian women to be powerful and fearless.
